.: the swing of identity :.

Some of us live in the continually swinging pendulum between incredible pride and deeply rooted shame. We take stock of our existence and come off on one of these two sides. We are either driven to boast of abilities that have supposedly come by our own strength, or we are compelled to hide ourselves from society and sink the enemy's accusations even further. Whichever end we find ourselves in for the moment, both of them are far from the blessed reality of grace. What we have in and of ourselves is a gift. Each of us has been blessed with various capacities, certain forms of deeper knowledge, or even superior talents that deem such when we compare ourselves to the right types of people. Rather than simply being ourselves, we carry on in our self-promotion, only to bury our heads in the sand when we are in any way exposed. We do everything within our power to keep everyone around us so little, only to later subject ourselves to the same intense disgrace that we rule others by (often for reasons that lie beyond the surface of our hearts).

What's more, little do we recognize how incapable of true love we are when we require such equality from those who are supposedly inferior to us. Who made us the judge of our family and friends? Is there anything within our nature, personality, or character that was not placed there by our Creator? We are caught up in the habit of comparison, and by its telltale signs in any given interaction, we either present ourselves as greater or lesser than our neighbor. The status and reputation that we have made for ourselves have nothing to do with our identity in Christ. What would it take to keep us from ever so subtly sizing others up in our own minds? Who am I to say that someone is more or less worthy than another of something or someone? How mistaken we are when we compel others to come up to our own contrived standard. How much more mistaken we are when we camouflage its evil intent in religious jargon and images! Many of us are caught up in the exercise of obligating every listener to live life as we see it defined. They are forced to conform to that which we are best familiar with. Our limited perspective becomes the litmus test for their supposedly inherent value, and we pride ourselves by giving it as quickly as we take it away.

Every person is only aware of the tale of his or her own life. None of us is capable of accurately comparing our own story to another. We are right where we need to be, in that we have arrived to this point by choosing and moving as we have best been persuaded to do so. Freedom comes when we determine to enter into what we are been called into, the life that lies right both before us, as well as within us. And should we have the opportunity to liberate a fellow member of creation, that role itself was a divine gift - not something by which we can promote and exalt our personal existence. Worthiness is inherent in our design. Beauty comes by the hands of our Creator, granted at the time of our very birth. Anything we become further on down the road does not bear with it the right to obligate others to follow in the same vain. Thank the Father; we have not received what we truly deserve as previous participants in the rebellion! We are now free to come away from living between the two extremes of judging and being judged. And though we may be subjected to it ourselves, no accusation truly remains upon us. The call remains to live in light of the grace that we have received, that which debilitates any pride that may well up within us.