.: not only as it seems :.

The journey of faith is one in which we are called to stay focused upon what we would not naturally be compelled to consider. What we are subtlety convinced that we either need or need to escape from soon becomes our driving force in life. Before we know it, we are listening to every voice other than the voice of God. This world has a way of dictating for us what specific desires or fears will be our guide and master. Truth be told, we as His children are all in process and are learning to discern His directing in our lives (John 10:27; Phil 1:6). But so often in the New Testament, we hear clear admonitions concerning what is to be the intentional focus of our hearts and minds. In 2 Corinthians 4, the Apostle Paul highlights this dynamic; “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (v.18). Realizing the “trials along the trail” that those first Christians were facing, he reminds them of what so many of us today need to acknowledge as well: things are not only as they seem. That is to say, there is more to reality than we can know with our unaided intellect and emotions. Apart from the work of the Spirit of God, we would fail to find hope and encouragement in the fact that there is an invisible God who is very big, very powerful, very wise, and very good. That is why David could not help but burst into his song of praise in Psalm 145, proclaiming, “Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom” (v.3). David was keenly aware of a fact that seems to slip our minds on a daily basis; that there is never a time when the Creator of this universe is not on the throne (Psalm 47:7-9). Therefore we need not fear what everyone else fears, for God is at work in this world to a degree far beyond what our visual circumstances would have us to believe. Even so, the most accurate viewpoint comes when we turn our eyes away from our ever-changing circumstances, and place them firmly upon both God and His Word. Only then do we see most clearly!

.: at the cross :.

The worship team at our church showed this video some time ago as a way of opening our service. It's message is a powerful reminder of what it means to join together as the Body of Christ and proclaim the praises and worthiness of our Lord and Savior!

.: crazy :.

"If believing in life after death makes one crazy, than I am crazy... I believe there is a God... I believe there is a God and this God is very big, and very powerful, and very wise, and very good, and wonderfully creative. I believe this God is a living God, a personal God who wants to know us and wants us to know Him. I believe this God made the universe, and that He takes special delight in the planet called Earth. I believe this God made us humans to enjoy Him, to be in His image, to enjoy creation, and to partner with Him in caring for the Earth... I believe this God made us for relationships, with the Earth, with others, with the self, and with God. The first humans, Adam and Eve, decided they did not want to live in this relational harmony. They did not want to live in dependence upon God (that is what the Bible calls sin...). And so they struck out on their own to be their own god. This decision resulted in the breakdown of the relationships for which we were created, a breakdown in the relationship with the Earth, a breakdown in the relationship with others (need I illustrate...?), a breakdown in the relationship with the self, and a breakdown in the relationship with God. But this God did not give up on us. This God really means for us to experience relational wholeness, so this God comes after us. This God comes all the way down after us. I mean all the way down. He became one of us. This God became a human. God became a man... And this God took the name Jesus, which means 'God saves' or 'God to the rescue'. Jesus lived human life the way it was supposed to be lived. He lived dependant on the Father. He taught. He healed. He forgave sins. He welcomed all kinds of different people into His company. That is, Jesus loves us. He loves us rebels, so much that He then gave Himself over to death to pay the price for our sin so that we could live again in relationship with God. He was crucified, a horrible death. But death could not keep Him down. On the third day, He rose from the grave. Crazy, huh? He was resurrected, never to die again. And now He is the head and progenitor of a whole new human race. Jesus is alive and He sits on the throne of the universe. There is a headquarters. There is a control room. And Jesus is there as Lord. And one day, He is going to come back to earth, and He is going to bring with Him a whole new creation, a new heaven and a new earth, where there will no longer be any sin, any war, any death." -Darrell Johnson

.: just thought you should know :.

If somewhere along the way I have gotten something wrong, please forgive me. I have allowed you to view my life from a distance, though you probably believe that you have me figured out by now. Needless to say, I have been honest all along the way - mostly through the Spirit, but too often times from the flesh. I have often chosen to let it all out rather than holding my tongue, and for all the places where you were offended, I offer my deepest apologies. I know that not everything that comes to mind is fit for print. But I have sought to live with both candor and integrity, offering glimpses into my own journey all along the way. Looking back, I easily could have overstepped my bounds and not let you into the joy that so often followed the pain. I indeed would hate for my words to point to anything other than the Spirit's work within me, and then through me. I guess in a way I never thought that it would come this far. And amidst my considering of all that I have offered to you, there are parts that I wish that I could erase, or better yet convince myself that they never came to the surface. But here and now, I confess that I am a sinner saved by grace, a soul in conversion from "life in hiding" to "a life so truly set free". I would hope that we all remember that even the poets of Scriptures shot from the hip and gave voice to their anguish and confusion. So I guess that is what I am aiming at here, to remind you that it was never my hope to only offer what is sound and true. And in part, I may have been hoping for something that was never truly possible - to let you hear my heart apart from the life from which it arises. You may want to know me, but you never could apart from being obligated to also consider the greater context of my life. I never claimed to have it all right, and I certainly would hope that you haven't as well. We are all in process, all living smack-dab in the midst of a human growing faith in, and understanding of, the Divine. So in most of the places where most others would have waited to have it all figured out before they offered their so-called "position", I have laid it out with the expectation that you would take my words at face value. That being said, I must admit that it has to be pretty easy for some of us to be overly critical of a soul that has made the effort to know and be known, all the while holding back so that he or she might guard themselves against the kinds of criticism that they now choose to let loose. I guess that is the price that I must pay for taking a chance by letting you get to know me. I pray that we all might be merciful when it comes to summing up a life according to the handful of thoughts and images that we take hold of. And may the Father call us back to trusting first and foremost in Him, rather than taking our cues from those we share in this life with.

.: james 3 :.

This is a short film by "Desiring God"

"From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." James 3:10

.: something to offer :.

There is something that fails within me when I am called to remain patient. Having prepared for this for the better part of a lifetime, I cannot bear days such as these that seem to carry no significance at all. As the adage goes, if something is going to happen, I need for it to happen now. Or so it seems when I am faced with no end in sight. My heart has nothing to live for, nothing that I can put my hands and head to, and nothing to pour myself into. I have meaning and I can prove the weight of my substance, if only someone would take a chance on me. All this preparation and now not a single thing that beckons me to get involved. Everyone walking around with some sort of mission. But I am constantly haunted by the possibility that everyone but me knows this will never work out. I certainly can make things happen, if that is what is called for here and now. But even the ones that I thought might come looking cheer me on as they blaze their own paths. How frustrating it becomes when I sense that nothing will come of the letters that I have sent off into the realm of possibilities! Everyone is off doing what they love, and I am left to keep rehearsing what has been revealed to me. And maybe, just maybe, I have it all wrong. But all I can say is when the chance comes to invite others into action, to invest in another soul, I am going to do all I can to facilitate in their coming to life. That being said, the Creator has a plan, though He so often seems so slow to bring it about. But He has proven time and again that His timing goes far beyond each and every way that we have laid out the week before us. It will happen, My son; all in good time... in My time, according to My arrangement. It is just that I feel like I am losing any sort of advantage that I had when I first set out to use my gifts. But maybe that is the plan after all.

.: undone by the call :.

I am starting to see how our very calling as followers of Christ undoes everything we might hope to accomplish in our flesh. If I am to imitate His example, how can I also carry the weight of making a name for myself? If I am to soften my heart towards the weak, how can I maintain the kind of rough exterior it requires to "make it in the real world"? And if I truly see this world as my home, how can I keep my eyes upon the eternal kingdom that awaits me? I guess what I am trying to say is that all my hopes of being something big are slowly being unraveled by the call to remain small and low. In those moments when I begin to pull away from the community of faithfulness, and I use any sort of advantage I may have at the time over another soul, I am seeking to undo (as it this were even possible) the very work that the Father wants to accomplish in and through all of creation. How can I remain a vessel for divine compassion and Christ-like tenderness when I am force-feeding a different strand of work in my life? Time and again I am captured by the beauty of idea of making myself nothing. The kind of obedience that I want to demonstrate has nothing to do with the various ways in which I use the random minutes of each day to scratch a particular itch of my fallen nature. And rather than throwing myself upon His grace, I blaze a path that takes me nowhere in an arbitrary collage of words and actions. I hate those days when I have let myself get away with throwing together a plan with me at the center and then carelessly making it my new ambition. Fresh and new have been enemies of mine at the most unexpected times. And the thought of being genuine has left nothing but a scattered mess of memories from a time in which eternity was the last thing on my mind. I grieve far too little for the times when I have exalted myself under the banner of doing a work that belongs primarily to the Spirit. And in those choice moments when I could have chosen to serve another, I only choose to serve myself. I am so far from what I was hoping to be. But am I anywhere close to where He longs for me to abide? I wish I had this sort of clarity about releasing my own baggage so that I can lift the load of my brother or sister. But I am arriving at the conclusion that real love doesn't bring with it a parade or spotlight, for simple obedience fills it with enough passion to carry it throughout the day. And this life was never meant to end in the belief that we ended up right where we always wanted to be. So with my own plans out of the way, I can now begin to work towards the benefit of another. But how do I carry this ambition with me, if it is not the voice of the Lord that I am pushing everything else aside to hear so clearly? He is teaching me to see how risking it all for the ambitions of one falls so short of working towards the deepening of so some many more. To serve and to be poured out so that He might see His will fulfilled. That in and of itself has far more beauty and fervor to it than days filled with making something of myself. This idea of building myself up so I can reap the rewards of being that one sought out is coming up empty right before my eyes. So I would be a fool to not work in such a way that I might catch even a glimpse of His kingdom coming to life in my own lifetime. For His love is stronger than every mistake that I can come up with, and it is moving forward whether I choose to follow His leading or not.