.: just thought you should know :.

If somewhere along the way I have gotten something wrong, please forgive me. I have allowed you to view my life from a distance, though you probably believe that you have me figured out by now. Needless to say, I have been honest all along the way - mostly through the Spirit, but too often times from the flesh. I have often chosen to let it all out rather than holding my tongue, and for all the places where you were offended, I offer my deepest apologies. I know that not everything that comes to mind is fit for print. But I have sought to live with both candor and integrity, offering glimpses into my own journey all along the way. Looking back, I easily could have overstepped my bounds and not let you into the joy that so often followed the pain. I indeed would hate for my words to point to anything other than the Spirit's work within me, and then through me. I guess in a way I never thought that it would come this far. And amidst my considering of all that I have offered to you, there are parts that I wish that I could erase, or better yet convince myself that they never came to the surface. But here and now, I confess that I am a sinner saved by grace, a soul in conversion from "life in hiding" to "a life so truly set free". I would hope that we all remember that even the poets of Scriptures shot from the hip and gave voice to their anguish and confusion. So I guess that is what I am aiming at here, to remind you that it was never my hope to only offer what is sound and true. And in part, I may have been hoping for something that was never truly possible - to let you hear my heart apart from the life from which it arises. You may want to know me, but you never could apart from being obligated to also consider the greater context of my life. I never claimed to have it all right, and I certainly would hope that you haven't as well. We are all in process, all living smack-dab in the midst of a human growing faith in, and understanding of, the Divine. So in most of the places where most others would have waited to have it all figured out before they offered their so-called "position", I have laid it out with the expectation that you would take my words at face value. That being said, I must admit that it has to be pretty easy for some of us to be overly critical of a soul that has made the effort to know and be known, all the while holding back so that he or she might guard themselves against the kinds of criticism that they now choose to let loose. I guess that is the price that I must pay for taking a chance by letting you get to know me. I pray that we all might be merciful when it comes to summing up a life according to the handful of thoughts and images that we take hold of. And may the Father call us back to trusting first and foremost in Him, rather than taking our cues from those we share in this life with.