.: a day in the waters :.

This past weekend, I had the chance to go to the Monterey Aquarium. Thanks to the advances of digital technology, I was able to grab a couple shots to post on this site. Hope you enjoy my randomness and crazy idea of what is funny and/or cool looking!


The wonders of the sea... errr, aquarium


One of the many creatures I was in awe over


I managed to make a new (stuffed) friend

.: the art of being misunderstood :.

Over the past month and a half, I feel like I have received quite an education. I have been learning more about God and His loving heart. I have been learning more about myself, what I have been called to by God, as well as what I have to offer. And I have even been learning about ministry and what it means to offer myself wholeheartedly to those who desire to grow in faith and grace. But above all these elements that Mount Hermon has instilled in me, I feel like one of the most unexpected talents that I have been educated in is the art of being misunderstood. There have been so many times during this summer when in my heart of hearts I have felt like I either didn't come off to others as I truly am, or that something I said or did (or even didn't do) was seen by someone else and they are most likely making assumptions of me that are false (should the truth be told). It has happened time and time again as I have sought to be who the Father created me to be, but felt like something occurred that was ultimately out of my control, in that I couldn't completely form their opinion of me to be an accurate one. And some would say that is the danger of caring what others think.

I can already hear the person across the table from me calling me back to "living before an audience of one" (God - not myself, in case you are not familiar with the proverbial equation). But hopefully you will agree with me that even beyond allowing the estimations of others to control me is the deeper desire for real relationships with those all around me at such a level that they would ultimately come to know me - the genuine "me" - and me come to know the authentic "them". However such ways of relating take far too much time. No, rather we are prone to assess others and size them up according to simple glances of one frame of their lives. I feel like I have been trained in this art form simply because I do it, and I am darn well sure it is happening to me (after all, what goes around comes around). I know for certain that I am offering others plenty of portraits of who I am that can so easily be taken out of context. I react, and by that reaction, I am misunderstood. I speak, and by those words, I am misunderstood. I choose one way, and by that choice, I am misunderstood. I bear my gut feeling, and by that sincere honesty, I am misunderstood. It is really simple, if you haven't grasped this crucial art form. Simply say or do anything, even take a risk by letting a shaft of light fall upon your personality or disposition, and then let nature take its course. Even by sharing these thoughts with you, rather than keeping myself safe by never letting these words see the light of day, I can put good money on the fact that someone will once again misread me, silently judge me, possibly even accuse me.

In the bigger picture of things, we cannot escape this element of life for it is deeply rooted in every one of us as a people this side of Eternity. It's almost as if we choose to misread the actual lines of the real stories that the Father is writing in the lives of family, friends, enemies, and even total strangers. For we live in a world that is constantly perpetuating this vicious cycle of misconstruing the character and spirit of other people, and I too am steeped in this "spiritual" form of relating to the neighbors of my various environments. And the greatest tragedy is the reality that I will most assuredly misinterpret the words, actions, or attitudes of someone else, and by that very opinion formed, I will choose in my heart to not pursue a deeper relationship with that person... and I will miss out. I will miss out on what could have quite possibly been a richer friendship. I will miss out on what God could have potentially done in both of our lives in and through each other. I will miss out on how I could have become more fully human simply because I abandoned the chance to move beyond that false perception. And others miss out on such grand things manifesting themselves in their lives because they only stuck around for a couple scenes of a fuller story that is still being written.

For she or he who is without such sin cast the first stone...

.: reflections from a flame :.

I had the privilege yesterday of attending the funeral of one of the four U.S. Navy SEALS that were recently killed in Afghanistan during a Special Forces mission, and what an amazing experience it was! What was so profound about this young man's funeral was the way that they chose to honor him. First of all, I was amazed at how many people turned out for the service. I have become more and more surprised by how often people find excuses for not attending the funerals of those they love (myself included, armed with excuses that seemed fitting at the time). All I would say to that issue is that we ought to take advantage of these times for the sake of both possibly finding closure to the loss of that individual, but even more, that we rejoice in times when a fellow believer "graduates" from this world, to go on to be with God. We as followers of Christ, though we mourn the loss of loved ones, have the deepest of hopes in that we will see them again. So it encouraged me to see all the attending friends and family choose to honor his memory by showing up. But secondly, the family designed the service in such a way that we were not only offered numerous stories by which even newcomers (like myself, for I was only there to be with one of the cousins of the deceased) came to feel like they had known him, but everyone was powerfully reminded that the center and source of all real living for this honorable fallen soldier was that of Jesus Christ. This man seemed to have lived life to the fullest, so how refreshing to have that ascribed to He who said that He came to offer such "full living" (John 10:10). I was deeply moved and powerfully encouraged by all the various stories that were shared - men and women who knew this soldier as son, husband, father, friend, companion, and comrade. The stories were grippingly honest, and through each person's transparency (even with their feelings towards the nature of his death in the context of the war), I was compelled to follow the sort of example that this man lived. Just the thought alone of not needing to be intellectually astute in order to live with integrity hit me at such a deep soul level. I was left from yesterday's service with a desire to not take any moment for granted... to live as a man who embraces life with all his might... that takes advantage of every opportunity to achieve the greatest good... and to offer a legacy for those coming behind me (even a visitor who should happen to slip into my own funeral service) to imitate and be motivated by - to live a life worth something, that does something more than just exist, but one that is fully alive... and offers others all around him that same sort of life. May God make us all into those types of individuals!

.: no accident :.

If you had tried to explain to me the whole Mount Hermon "experience", I honestly don't think I would have believed you. Here we are almost halfway through our summer together, and I am just now beginning to feel like I have adjusted to life in this place - a home away from home. And here I was so foolish as to believe that I could have even begun to know what it would be like to live, serve, and grow in this place... with these people... people who I once never knew that I now am willing to do the craziest things with on a moment's notice. Three months ago, I didn't know about a Pacific Avenue or a Garden of Eden. Three months ago, I didn't spend the minutes during when I brush my teeth as a chance to dream up new antics to attempt on the Big Dipper. Three months ago, I knew nothing of what it really meant to do what I had been called here to do as a Staff Counselor (though I must admit that I tried to anticipate much of what might possibly be expected). But most of all, up until these past couple weeks, I had nothing and no one to warn me that I would feel some of what is hitting me in the face right now. I would never have guessed that my heart would be wrestling with some of the feelings, fears, desires, and even old wounds that life at Mount Hermon has seemingly brought to the surface. And if I could be so bold, I would venture to guess that many of the other Summer Staffers are struggling with some of the same issues. One of the greatest things that Mount Hermon has done is that it has revealed to us bits and pieces of our identity as men and women (many of them pertaining to our relationship with Christ)... but needless to say, this is also one of the hardest things that Mount Hermon is causing so many of us to reckon with. Maybe we now see parts of ourselves that we never knew, or maybe parts that we are all too familiar with. Maybe we find ourselves reacting strongly in surprising ways, or maybe we are falling into old patterns of behavior that we thought we had overcome. Maybe we are finding greater strength in some personal areas, only to find ourselves severely weak in others. But no matter how our own story is seemingly being written, I honestly feel like we need to be reminded at this point and time in the summer of one thing; our being here is no mistake. We did not happen upon this place. We did not happen to slip in. There are far too many steps we had to take, and moments of faith that were required to get here, to truly believe that our being at Mount Hermon is an accident, or is by any means not part of what God had in mind for us all along. The truth be told, God drew us to this place. We may have thought that we chose to come here, and we did to some degree. But He drew us here. And He drew us here so that we might come further into His very heart and mind. He brought us to this place - a conference center on the outskirts of Santa Cruz, away from home, away from best friends, away from what feels familiar - for the sake of His very relationship with us. He sought us out... and in the midst of best-intentioned plans, here we are. And because of such realities, we can find genuine peace, if only we would calm down enough to discover it. We ought to be at peace, for we can trust in the fact that God will accomplish His purposes for bringing us to this camp (something that is bigger than ourselves and our own agendas and schedules). And if I could offer anything to all of us at this point in the summer, it would be the assurance (at a heart level) that God is at work in each and everyone of our hearts and minds. But even more than that; He will enable all us to do what He has called us to do - as servants, as counselors, as friends, as helpers, as encouragers, as teammates, as supporters, as confidants, and as friends. He has brought us safely thus far - may we have the courage to believe that He will bring us safely home, having done just as powerful of a work in all of the places that we left a month ago.

(Written for this week's Staff Newsletter, "The Branch")

.: folklore :.

This is a picture of the Baby in the Box. You have to be a part of the MH Summer Staff to understand why this is so significant, but let's just say that rumor has it that this is a real baby in the glass case, placed there by her twin sister, in memory of her early death. Creeeeeepy!


"Baby in the Box" - a piece of Mt. Hermon folklore