.: the art of being misunderstood :.

Over the past month and a half, I feel like I have received quite an education. I have been learning more about God and His loving heart. I have been learning more about myself, what I have been called to by God, as well as what I have to offer. And I have even been learning about ministry and what it means to offer myself wholeheartedly to those who desire to grow in faith and grace. But above all these elements that Mount Hermon has instilled in me, I feel like one of the most unexpected talents that I have been educated in is the art of being misunderstood. There have been so many times during this summer when in my heart of hearts I have felt like I either didn't come off to others as I truly am, or that something I said or did (or even didn't do) was seen by someone else and they are most likely making assumptions of me that are false (should the truth be told). It has happened time and time again as I have sought to be who the Father created me to be, but felt like something occurred that was ultimately out of my control, in that I couldn't completely form their opinion of me to be an accurate one. And some would say that is the danger of caring what others think.

I can already hear the person across the table from me calling me back to "living before an audience of one" (God - not myself, in case you are not familiar with the proverbial equation). But hopefully you will agree with me that even beyond allowing the estimations of others to control me is the deeper desire for real relationships with those all around me at such a level that they would ultimately come to know me - the genuine "me" - and me come to know the authentic "them". However such ways of relating take far too much time. No, rather we are prone to assess others and size them up according to simple glances of one frame of their lives. I feel like I have been trained in this art form simply because I do it, and I am darn well sure it is happening to me (after all, what goes around comes around). I know for certain that I am offering others plenty of portraits of who I am that can so easily be taken out of context. I react, and by that reaction, I am misunderstood. I speak, and by those words, I am misunderstood. I choose one way, and by that choice, I am misunderstood. I bear my gut feeling, and by that sincere honesty, I am misunderstood. It is really simple, if you haven't grasped this crucial art form. Simply say or do anything, even take a risk by letting a shaft of light fall upon your personality or disposition, and then let nature take its course. Even by sharing these thoughts with you, rather than keeping myself safe by never letting these words see the light of day, I can put good money on the fact that someone will once again misread me, silently judge me, possibly even accuse me.

In the bigger picture of things, we cannot escape this element of life for it is deeply rooted in every one of us as a people this side of Eternity. It's almost as if we choose to misread the actual lines of the real stories that the Father is writing in the lives of family, friends, enemies, and even total strangers. For we live in a world that is constantly perpetuating this vicious cycle of misconstruing the character and spirit of other people, and I too am steeped in this "spiritual" form of relating to the neighbors of my various environments. And the greatest tragedy is the reality that I will most assuredly misinterpret the words, actions, or attitudes of someone else, and by that very opinion formed, I will choose in my heart to not pursue a deeper relationship with that person... and I will miss out. I will miss out on what could have quite possibly been a richer friendship. I will miss out on what God could have potentially done in both of our lives in and through each other. I will miss out on how I could have become more fully human simply because I abandoned the chance to move beyond that false perception. And others miss out on such grand things manifesting themselves in their lives because they only stuck around for a couple scenes of a fuller story that is still being written.

For she or he who is without such sin cast the first stone...