.: washed away :.

Trust is something you build through single steps over time. Yet once you betray it, the waters of the offense wash out those fortified sand walls and you must try again. There is no way around it. You must push through the guilt and shame, and face the reality of the offense at hand. With every fiber of our being, we refuse to be treated like children, though we have acted in childish ways. And their reaction will be to play the role of the betrayed person, though their hurt is genuine and deeply felt. All we can do is throw ourselves at their mercy and hope for quick healing. But though we would give anything to cover over the offense, there must be confession and reconciliation before there can be healing and joy. Though we wish they will instantly release the offense, that in itself would not be genuine forgiveness. They deserve to be hurt. They have been wounded and are in fact bleeding from the offense. But by the Father's grace, they can move with us through this. It is when they hold us at arm's length that we tend to seethe. We all want quick forgiveness, yet when the offense is against us, we nurse our wounds and hold it over the offender. There is a right to be angry, and a time to release that anger and disappointment. We desire with all of our hearts to rewrite our history, yet we are only given the blank page of each day to compose what our future history will consist of. We long to be trusted, but we must act trustworthy. None of us gets to escape the results of even our poorest choices, for each event will come to the surface somewhere down the road. Coming clean is not an option. The best we can do is damage control, determining the depth of the impact we have upon it all. Relationships are given to receiving such bumps and bruises, though we ache when they actually occur. But there is a strength that allows us to persist through the pain and confusion. One day, we will be back to where we were. But the process is one that requires we honor it, not rushing through with quick fixes and swift responses. Having chosen to satisfy our curiosity, we cannot escape the fallout that is yet to come. All we can do is delay it and hope that it falls upon one of our better days. We hope for grace. We will be blessed if they stick by us. And we mark our souls so as to never return to such senseless behavior. Feelings of disappointment, shame, and disgrace are sure to do it for you. But we must push through the cover-ups and half-truths, and reclaim the beauty that once was - that still remains beneath and behind it all. We cannot survive alone. The call goes out to hold onto love and receive forgiveness as it is extended. But this is not the end for us. We will keep moving along, though we hope we are much wiser for all of this. Otherwise our confession will have been in vain.

But I truly am sorry...