.: awaited :.

Today is the final session of classes for the week. A week that has paused over and over again, so as to give the sense that it won't let me through this one too quickly. Five days down and three weeks to go. Fully aware of what I once had, what lies ahead of me, what it will take to finish what was set in motion. Some of the best laid plans matched with the greatest of intentions to see them all come about. Content to be here with a heart that eagerly awaits her return. Not wanting to be a hinderance or distraction. Distracted myself in ways I cannot do anything other than simply push through. Hoping that I don't dismiss these days of summer. Knowing that the day will arrive soon enough. Looking for fellowship, for release, and for a return to home. Frustrated that I cannot ever just remain in the moment, seeking out what my heart can latch onto, though only for minutes at a time. Is anyone listening? How I wonder if anyone remains here whose relationship still bears any weight. Many frustrations have been provoked here. But I doubt that they have not simply just passed through my mind en route to what I am longing for - something that is playing itself out apart from me. Until then, I know that I will continually be hoping for that perfect moment. But I have not felt loneliness like this since years past.