.: a lull in the midst of the new :.

So often it seems that we live for every subsequent moment of amusement. We live for every chance to be fascinated with something that captures our attention and sends us off in a tirade. But once it all catches up to us and there is nothing new to be enthralled by, we sink into the shadows and the spotlight moves away from our shoulders. We love to have something, sometimes anything, to build a life around. The common and familiar is fine for everyone else, but we desperately crave for that new thing that will take our breath away. We need something fresh and innovative to use as a basis for furthering our own kingdom. Our eyes are caught by even the slightest glimpses of glitter, something that informs us that we must have it. We internally beg for new words to move forward on, often in a direction unlike all others. And something within us grows silent and eerie. But who of us can wrestle wisely with such maddening silence? Something within us refuses to settle for what we have already seen and heard. We figure that there must be some new formula, something that gives us an original principal for a more authentic way of life. Authors earn their temporary notoriety by capturing it within their best seller. Actors win their awards by performing in a way that touches upon it as well. And day-by-day, we grow more numb to what we have already experienced. What is it within our hearts that needs that novel element to continually appear before us? Why are we not comfortable with old lessons and the rehearsing of wisdom? No question, it is there! And it rules our lives in such a way that we pour out our riches, energy, and attention in the hopes of finding it before everyone else. We yearn to be the ones informing the masses rather than being one of the later informed. Then we preach it in our loudest voices, we practice it in our workplace, we frame it and nail it to our walls, and we make it our newest rule to abide by and defend. We constantly need something to tell us each morning that this life is actually worth living. And it needs to be here and it needs to be now. Our world tells us that we cannot afford to wait. So we rush in, and thus rush right past what the Father has been longing to tell us. I guess we just feel that His words of life can wait one more day, and that there are far more important details to hammer out in the hours given to us. But then we are given all sorts of choices, and we decline to really pick any one of them. We want to truly be satisfied, to find what we have been, and always will be, looking for. Unfortunately we repeatedly sell out on our real hopes and we let ourselves land once again in that place of disappointing resignation. We settle for the things that only fill our sails for moments at a time, knowing full well that something deeper still awaits us. Yet we cannot ever teach ourselves to create the kind of space in which He might confront and console our bleeding hearts. But would we truly be content if His only words were that everything is fine, that there is no problem, and His feelings towards us are only thoughts of joy. Maybe we are convinced that there must be some sort of problem, and that it is buried deep within us. So we form such habits of digging away at what we can only assume needs to be brought out into the open. Regrettable far into the future, we make these decisions on our own terms, devoted to the dying efforts of our own feeble strength.