.: the way it should have gone :.

Time is rarely ever on our side. We claim that we would do so much more if only we had the daylight and initiative to pull it off. Some of our best intentions get traded away for lesser opportunities, and we come to the end of the day feeling like it was squandered. How can we hope for so much, yet so often give ourselves over to some of the most classic distractions of life? We leap out of bed on the waves of doing something grand, only to watch it be diminished to crossing off some of the lines on our "to do" list. Oh, to be great! But doesn't greatness have something to do with the use of the hours and days that are given to us? Our lives certainly will not make the front page on a daily basis. But is it too much to hope for a sense of deep satisfaction as we place our heads on the pillow each evening? I would hope that I could regularly find the peace that comes with completion. Rather, I keep coming away with the feeling that I have so much left in me as the sun fades behind the hills by my home. That fullness that lies within me feels as if it has barely been drawn from. Where might I find the proof that I am making the best out of what I have been given? My heart longs to be invested in a work that will stretch beyond the years of my own presence on earth. The prayers of each day pour from my anticipation that this day will be something unique, in which I will discover something profound, or be used to lead someone else to such. But the days that play themselves out feel like they would have me to be a side character to a far bigger drama than my own life, living, and end. Maybe that sense of fulfillment would be better found by the confirmation in my own soul that I remained faithful for one more period of time. Maybe I can find far more stillness in my soul in the realization that instead of my being able to pull off something grand, something grand is happening all around me... and I have the unfathomable privilege of taking part in it in so much as I desire. And maybe this calls for drawing upon those far deeper, more divine desires that cry within my heart to be satisfied. All I know is this: the day that presents itself before me at dawn is an invitation to live more fully in the reality of God's Kingdom entering into our world and fashioning it into what it once was. I am called into living within that space, as are you!