Someday I will clearly see the difference between everything that I loved, and everything that I was dependant upon for survival. Someday I will see all that I surrounded myself with, and know clearly why such things were important to me. Someday I will see my needs and realize the objects of desire in disguise. Someday I will realize everything that I did to make it all okay, as well as the times that I intentionally made a mess of life (mine or someone else's). Someday I will glory in the things that I counted as my flaws, little things that went unnoticed by the rest of the world. Someday I will see everything that I did to make a good impression on everyone around me. Someday I will live in a new world, which will make this old one look so pathetic. Someday I will suddenly enjoy my own voice, for it will have found its proper place and tone. Someday I will find that I can relax and rejoice in everything around me. Someday I will awake to a brand new day, and I will live with the joy of knowing that it is only the beginning. Someday I will find that I am no longer wasting away. Someday I will not expect as much as I do right now, for it all will have found its truest fulfillment. Someday I will be caught up with visions of people running towards me, those that I have longed to be with for years gone by. Someday my spirit will be free from the weights that hold it down. Someday I will truly understand all that you and I say to one another. Someday I will see everything and everyone that pulled my strings. Someday I will be able to quit this facade that I am so committed to. Someday I will see the fine line between being needed and being free to go at any time. Someday I will smile at the desperation that used to control everything about me. Someday I will be separated from the burdens that I know far too well. Someday I will no longer need to compromise to find what my heart is longing for. Someday I will finally know what it was I was doing all along. Someday I will find the freedom to approach the Father fearlessly, and ask for what it is that He wants for me. Someday I will find that He was pleased with me far more than I assumed. Someday I will laugh at the petty things that I made such an issue about, as well as share in the same sort of laughter that pours from others. Someday I will live like someone who truly knows how to live. Someday I will learn to handle my expectations far better than I do right now. Someday I will live the life of grace realized and accomplished. Someday I will find out who all was listening when I was pouring out my soul. Someday I will be more than fine with it all. And someday you will be with me again... and this life that we have lived will have only been faint whispers of the life to come.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
.: love and addiction :.
Someday I will clearly see the difference between everything that I loved, and everything that I was dependant upon for survival. Someday I will see all that I surrounded myself with, and know clearly why such things were important to me. Someday I will see my needs and realize the objects of desire in disguise. Someday I will realize everything that I did to make it all okay, as well as the times that I intentionally made a mess of life (mine or someone else's). Someday I will glory in the things that I counted as my flaws, little things that went unnoticed by the rest of the world. Someday I will see everything that I did to make a good impression on everyone around me. Someday I will live in a new world, which will make this old one look so pathetic. Someday I will suddenly enjoy my own voice, for it will have found its proper place and tone. Someday I will find that I can relax and rejoice in everything around me. Someday I will awake to a brand new day, and I will live with the joy of knowing that it is only the beginning. Someday I will find that I am no longer wasting away. Someday I will not expect as much as I do right now, for it all will have found its truest fulfillment. Someday I will be caught up with visions of people running towards me, those that I have longed to be with for years gone by. Someday my spirit will be free from the weights that hold it down. Someday I will truly understand all that you and I say to one another. Someday I will see everything and everyone that pulled my strings. Someday I will be able to quit this facade that I am so committed to. Someday I will see the fine line between being needed and being free to go at any time. Someday I will smile at the desperation that used to control everything about me. Someday I will be separated from the burdens that I know far too well. Someday I will no longer need to compromise to find what my heart is longing for. Someday I will finally know what it was I was doing all along. Someday I will find the freedom to approach the Father fearlessly, and ask for what it is that He wants for me. Someday I will find that He was pleased with me far more than I assumed. Someday I will laugh at the petty things that I made such an issue about, as well as share in the same sort of laughter that pours from others. Someday I will live like someone who truly knows how to live. Someday I will learn to handle my expectations far better than I do right now. Someday I will live the life of grace realized and accomplished. Someday I will find out who all was listening when I was pouring out my soul. Someday I will be more than fine with it all. And someday you will be with me again... and this life that we have lived will have only been faint whispers of the life to come.
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Beautiful. Thank you. You continue to encourage me in many ways. Your someday is closer than you may think. Mark
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