.: silent gasping :.

We bear the thoughts that we may be going nowhere. This certainly was not what we had in mind. But comfort has cost us a sense of direction and focus. We fall back on what we do best, and yet still hope to entertain those we were hoping to draw. Nothing seems right in these places of our lives. We scratch the surface to see if it will carry on into something of weight. We need His voice. We need His touch. Crazy thing is that we have gone on without them for longer than we can recall. Anything fresh would grant us a couple miles more, yet He seems to be refusing to grant us that momentary craving. We catch ourselves resting against anything that whispers a future to us. Old friends or the summer that seemed to be here and then gone forever. The road falls into the background and our mind is consumed with confirmations of the fear that we will never be able to get back there. It was only a minor detour, yet something about it seems to have its hooks in us, drawing us back every so often. It continually reminds us that it all felt a little too perfect at the time, yet it pointed towards something about our design. If only we could have those days back. And though we bore some of them with such silent anguish, we would trade even our so-called best days to be back sharing life with those who once surrounded us. Are we still on course? It seems like we began so long ago. Who truthfully knew that we would end up here? Someone reminds us that once we have managed to leave, to return only seals our fate that much more tightly. We cannot continue to keep company with those who seem arrested by the past. We need new life. Maybe that means we need new voices. The old ones had meaning and were necessary for that portion of the journey. But these are the days of something original. We ourselves are being transformed daily into something of profundity. Maybe we ought to rejoice that the old wells that we mindlessly wander back towards are turning up dry. This turns us over to the pursuit of life within the Kingdom. God, grant us a vision for that one thing!