.: finding new ways :.

It is just not working! Once again, you are finding yourself at the end, cornered by the situation that you put yourself in to begin with. Things aren't turning out like you had hoped for. And though the Enemy is a great liar, you still took him at his word. He somehow got you to believe that he was good for at least that one thing you were holding out for. The problem now is that you are going to have to find a new way of scratching that itch. You are going to have to learn to deal with that burning cry that longs to be heard and answered. But though you feel like you can never go back, there is still a way out. The only question is, do you want to be saved? Do you want to get out? Your faulty promises are coming up short, one by one, as everyboyd begins to surrender the trust that they had placed in you for so long. You had come up for air not too long ago. What happened? Who or what threw you off course all over again? By now, you must agree with me - this just is not working! Your words are catching up with you. Every lie upon every other lie is being discovered, and we are left to piece together our best assumptions about whatever became of you. You swear by the code that you are untouchable. You refuse to give anyone that sort of control over you ever again. And sadly enough, the ones who might be useful in moments like this are headspun over what they could offer you... or even if you want to be brought back. Great question, but have you asked it to yourself? The pain increases as you start to imagine the reasons that others use to convince themselves of why you just might not be worth the effort. My heart breaks for you, especially since I had hoped for better. Come to think of it, we probably all had. But that only places an even greater weight upon you, guilt upon guilt, which only blinds you to the realities of what is still to come. Your kingdom is crumbling all around you. Nothing you placed your hands upon is offering you the upper hand, nor is it giving you any sort of support or grip. But you are never out of His hands. The one who offers you life and peace, He stands ready to rush in with those very things, if only you would put down your guard. Your life, the one you have been fashioning just out of everyone's sight, is over as we know it. Praise God, it fell apart, the very thing that was never meant to grant you what you have been longing for. I weep, for I know the road back is a long one. A quiet and silent one. And it will demand much, if not all, of you if you truly do intend to make the journey. But there is much to be done, for much was done to get you to where you now stand. Yet a new name awaits you, though this will forever be marked in the minds of those who fail to love you as they should (my own mind included). Chapters are being written. Who knows when the final act will begin to be penned? Seek His face while you still can. Find something greater than what you set out to find. Meet the Father in ways that so many of us will never get to experience. It will cost you, as it has so much already. But we need people like you, ones who found the strength to rest fully upon their weakness. For in that, He is discovered anew. Come while you can.